Tuesday 22 December 2015

DOUBLE TROUBLE



So I'm back, I'm here, I'm taking over. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I'm as clean as ever...
 
These are not my nieces but they could be. If only twins stayed this way. But no, they'll destroy your stuff and talk back. Sigh
I just went back a couple of decades with that song. My old-age is showing; let me tuck it in properly. So how have you all been. I didn't want to leave 2015 without posting something this December so let's see, who shall I blog about....

So, let me gist you about my twin nieces; Tim and Kim. Those girls are 4 going on 30! Double Trouble is what I call them. They are way too smart and sassy but I love them. I have another one who has been re-named Benadryl by HoneyDame (don't ask!) who climbs everything with such passion. I would share pictures but my brother would kill me so I'll save them for now. I might share later though.

This could easily be Benadryl
Or this
So back to the twins. I think they should get a reality show of their own. Things those kids say make me go O_O.

Chronicles of Prim and her twin daughters
Take One
Tim: Mummy I want pissa (pizza), I want pissa, I want pissa (in a whining voice)
Prim: Tim, if you say that one more time I'll park this car and come round and flog you.

30seconds later
Kim: Mummy, what "park" mean?
Prim: It means I'll stop the car
Kim: Right here mummy? and then we stay here? forever and ever? on the roadside?
Prim: (in my head) girl shut up. I'm trying to instill discipline here

Take Two 
Prim: Bo aso e Kim, what does that mean Kim?
Kim: Hum remove your clothes
Prim: Wow how did you know that?
Kim: By thinking

Take Three
Tim: (crying) mummy I bit my tongue
Prim: Sorry baby, how did that happen
Tim: I used my teeth

Take Four
Kim: I want bread and butter to take to school for lunch
Prim: Do your class mates bring bread and butter to school?
Kim: No
Prim: No, you can't take bread and butter to school
Kim: But Mommy, nobody brings dodo too (like, what's your point mommy)

Kim is the ultimate Diva. All she wants now is to be 5years old. She thinks 5 means adulthood. She tells Tim all the time that if she doesn't eat well, she'll stay 4 looool.

So when I say I don't want twins, I know what I'm saying. I'd rather one trouble at a time. Double trouble ain't my thing.

Kids have been so irresistible to me lately though. I just love their innocence. Too adorable. My ovaries have been jumping upandan anyhow but all I need to calm them is to remember something my nieces say or do and I'm all fixed lol.

Hope you guys are preparing for an amazing Xmas. I have no plans yet so if you don't mind feeding me on Christmas, holler!

It has been a really long year but I'll be back soon :)

Friday 23 October 2015

Let's Marvin Gaye and get it on...

You've got the healing that i want. Just like they say it in the song, till the dawn, lets Marvin Gaye and get it on ...

This Marvin Gaye by Charlie Puth feat. Meghan Trainor song has been giving me life. I just loveeet! So how have you all been. I'm fine. Life is happening as usual. More drama everyday; sometimes more than I can handle but er well. We already know drama follows me around so no biggie. I'm not sharing the latest episode in the series of my life that I have titled, Dear Lord, Why Me? Y'all not ready for it. (Honeydame, CoyIntrovert and SingleNigerian, please leave this one alone)

Nails on fleek :D
First things first, my nails are back!!! You think we're here to play? After everything I've been through this year, please I had to invoke all the powers that be to bless my nails and it happened.
When they ask if you got your nails fixed and it's all yours ...*moonwalks*

Second, are you people not honestly shopping on Konga.com? So you are and I have not earned anything through you? You people play too much. What do you think the banners up top and on the sides are for? Please click click click away and purchase. Use my link and make me some money please. This your baby girl needs to feed to keep body and soul together. I'm not thirsting after glass house yet but a nice house would do. Atilola, come and try Konga so you can compare with Jumia. Thanks in advance. And If I eventually buy my own glass house, I'll give y'all a room each too. You might need to share though. Maybe Atoskin can share with HD and we'll name that the Room of Hips or Hippy Room. See, even my joke is dry. This is not a joking stuvvv. Epp me plis. Epp me. I'm suvvring.

I guess we can all agree that I'm not dead. *Side eyes* TLG and Honeydame. My life is just going through some changes. You can follow @toinlicious for more of my deliciousness.

So to the real reason I'm back here. The wonderful Lola of Rose of Sharon tagged me in this Sisterhood of the World Blogger Award and I had to come out of hibernation. Thanks so much Lola. Lola is the lovely author of Twenty Nine. You can check out her other books on Okadabooks.

Here are the rules
1.                  Thank the blogger who nominated you, linking back to their site; Check
2.                  Put the award logo on your blog; Check
3.                  Answer the ten questions sent to you; In a bit
4.                  Nominate five blogs; Okay
5.                  Make up ten new questions for your nominees to answer. Alright

1. What is your biggest pet peeve? I honestly don't know, it depends on where, when, who, what and how. I have a long list. From people who drive slow on the fast lane, to people who stay on your lane and refuse to move when the traffic light goes green because they are not exactly going your way but stupidly blocks you, to those who pick their nose and flick it. Biggest though? I don't know. If I like you, some of these things might not even bother me except that snot flick.

2. What does your last text message say? MO: Why were you calling me at 6:58am?

3. Can you taste the difference between Pepsi and coke? Which do you prefer? I can't tell the difference and give me water. I can't believe my relationship with berryblast is over and I'm not even sad. What is this life? A rotten pot of beans I tell you.

4. Make a confession about anything.  There is this 22million naira house that I'm thirsting after. I need money!!!

5. Name one item on your bucket list. To live alone in another country

6. If you were another person, would you make friends with yourself? Hell yeah! Have you met me? You obviously haven't because if you have, you'll definitely know. I'm amazing. I know my vain is showing but I'm not tucking it in. I'm that fabulous and cute and nice and my heart? Too large for its own good. Let's not forget my smile too.

7. What is your secret weapon to lure the oppoiste sex, boyfriend, husband, potential? I'm not luring anybody abeg. Did you not read about My lover? I didn't even have to do nothing and he wanted to die on top the matter.

8. What do you want to know about the future? Did I eventually kill my brother or did he kill me? I need to know this. Oh wait, or what colour did I paint my 22milion naira house :D

9. What would you change about your experience in secondary school? Honestly, nothing. I had the best and most unserious time of my life there lol. Traumatising for my family especially my dad and my sister, Prim-not though, seeing as Prim-not was the model daughter hehehe

10. Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings. I'm a sucker for them

I'm nominating:
This Lagos Girl (see, i told you i wasn't dead)
Lara (Can you put me in your luggage and take me traveling with you? I don't weigh much)
Atilola (All in good time babe, all in good time)
Duru  (I know the award is for sisters but this boy is around ladies all the time so *shrug*)
Oh, you thought I'd stick with rules? Lool. Welcome to me.

1. What is your biggest pet peeve?
3. Make a confession about anything.
4. What is the lesson of love that took you the longest to learn?
5. If you could spend one day alone with anyone in history (dead or alive), whom would you choose?
6. If you had to teach your kids one lesson in life, what would it be?
7. If you could "un-know" one thing, what would it be?
8. Paint your entire home inside and out a single colour other than white, what colour would you choose?
9. What is the most terrifying moment of your life?
10. If you could transport yourself to a place/era in d world, where would you go?

Get to answering and leave me a link so I can check out your answers. Thanks for indulging.

Monday 3 August 2015

I'M NOT DEAD...SERIOUSLY, I'M NOT



I've missed all you crazy people that make me laugh :)
First of all, Lets do some news rounds.
Yo! Sykik is a mom y'all!!! We have born Boy!! I'm making myself godmom! *shakes ikebe*
SisiYemmie is now a mommy too with a mini-Bobo. Congratulations guys *muah*
Honeydame is backk!!!! Ok, not really but she posted after one year so that should count for something, right?
SingleNigerian showed his face briefly but he's back in hibernation too.
My friendship, Unveiling Gold is back too...uhm, well partially. At least she's reading and leaving comments. Baby steps people.
I still miss Beautiful and her gists *sigh*
Sting is now a Doctor!!! Whooooooot!!! We need to pop something, yes? Let me go and complain to her about this headache sef :D
Atilola, You're the real MVP. Constantly blogging ain't beans.

HD's culinary skills is something that is receiving scant attention. For those skills, I could marry her. From Edikaikong *stomach rumbles* to Ogbono *more rumbles* to fried rice and chicken in some kind of delicious sauce, back to egusi or to the random pot of jollof that I drive all the way from work to her house to obtain, fadaludd needs to epp me! Can you tell that I shamelessly like food? I'm don't even currrrr! I honestly don't know how people are not falling over themselves for this hotness and her skills. Oh wait, I think they are lool. There's absolutely no harm in falling harder is all I'm saying. The girl can throw down in the kitchen!!!

So I went to Port-harcourt for the first time with HD!!! Yass! I also ate bole and spicy fish *relishes the memory* I think I had white soup too. Plus there is this child that I fell in love with since she was born. Her smile makes everything alright. I've had her as my lap top wallpaper since forever. I finally met her. Baby girl is just cuteness all round. Oh wait, they're are actually two of them. Too cute. I met 9jasGreat too. You can head on over here to read a brief recap. Oh, and Single Nigerian almost got us straight passes to hell for almost slapping a church usher (which I would not have minded much really loool) but that's story for another day.

Lately, there's been a something about babies and I. I'm not even sure I understand it anymore. First, I hung out with HD one time and during our meal, there was drama with a couple and their twin babies seating close to us. The boy twin would take one look at me and start giggling. I mean, I'll remove my face but once he caught my eyes again, the boy would break out into this huge grin. Every darn time! #NoKidding. It was so freaky. A while back too, I went for a friend's birthday party and this little baby girl munchkin decided I was her playmate and proceeded to freak everyone out because apparently, she usually does not play with strangers. Sigh. God, is this a sign? I haven't met my Alhaji yet so I don't know how I'm bringing one of these into the world. #NoTwinZone

My hair people! My hair! Atoskin, I'm sorry but this has to be said. God has shown his glory. My hair is long yo! Long! As in, my hair that was re-christened chicken scratch scanty is now long! Miracles happen people! By the way, I finally met Atoskin too! Hi Atoskin and her hips. I see you both!

So on to my nails. Here is what they used to look like. 

Lovely and things but brethren, I can't even show you the "after" picture because it is disgraceful. I maintain that HD stole them. Don't tell me noth'n. Plus, I never used to bite my nails. I still don't but you'd never believe me with the way they look at the moment. I remember wishing/tweeting my hair would grow as fast as my nails did at some point last year. To now add salt to injury, I tried to henna my hair. I wore gloves as prescribed but my hair didn't even show any hint of colour but guess what got dyed? My darn nails, that's what. *breathe Toin breathe*Anyways, God is finally showing mercy. My nails are not there yet but they are definitely on their way.

I don't want to overload this post but I just needed to tell y'all I'm breathing and in one piece. I have to give the loudest sharaouts to Duru! This guy is the most annoying but adorable aburo ever. He legit checks in on me almost every week. He drops comments on here too. If you don't believe, just check how many comments in dropped in my last post. And that's excluding the ones he told me not to upload on here. Rhapsody has also been amazing. She legit checked up on me most after Duru. You're both amazeballs *muah* To everyone who checked up on me, I love you guys with my whole growing butt. Forever family, you all are. To my new readers, I see y'all and I'll be stalking soon.
Oh, and I'm going to reply all of your comments on my last post. All 64 of them *sniff* You guys are the bestest. I tried my best to read you guys but lets play catch-up. What have I missed?

P.S: Is anyone watching So You Think You Can Dance? I love that show!!! This season is definitely different with the stage vs street thing going on. There's something about dance that makes my blood sing. It's just so groovy.